This is not the first time that this has happened to me. A pang and a longing for something from my childhood. Felt so keenly and impulsively. And it happens when I am in a most calm and relaxed state. I’ll be sitting there and suddenly I’ll have a thought or memory. Usually tied to an annual event that served as an important marker o the season. Only to look up that event online to find out that it is happening precisely at the time that I had that very recollection.
This weekend it was of the Apple and Pork Festival in Clinton, Illinois. . Not 5 minutes ago. Thinking that what I really would like right now would be a warm pot of beans. Just like we used to have there. Only to look it up and find out that it is going on now. In real time (particularly considering the 3-hour time difference–it IS lunch time there!).
Gee–the Apple and Pork Festival in was one of the first beacons of true Autumn. Usually it was still hot. The sun would blaze and we would sweat in our ambitious layers and have to tie our sweaters around our waist for the afternoon. The air would be filled with thick smoke–from the food as well as the antique machinery chugging and coughing away. The best meal of all was found at the C.H. Moore Homestead Museum. Where in the barn they cooked beans in a huge black kettle. With thick-sliced ham sandwiches on homemade bread. There was apple butter and corn bread and ice tea, too. Very good food. Eaten out-of-doors. In the middle of the day, taking a break from the large Antique flea that was also a main attraction.
I spent the first 20 years of my life in Illinois. And I have spent longer than that here in Los Angeles–a true lifetime away. I have a terrible memory in so many ways–the years are always a blur to me and I can be so selective in what I choose to remember. I also can barely recall what happened yesterday.
So it begs the question: how is it that I can *know* the precise moment that such an event is supposed to occur on such a cellular level. It is not a knowledge that comes from any true intellectual or reasonable memory–other than the understanding of how the sun feels in the sky. Of the air and of what I am so longing for and what would be so very right, just at this moment in time.